It was hard to choose which first to talk about. In the end, though, I decided there was no first more memorable, or terrifying, than that first query being sent.
It was a moment that had been coming for a couple of years. I wrote and scrapped and started over. I revised and deleted and changed and added. And yeah, you probably know the drill. Then, that moment came when it was finally time to press send on that very first query. I'm pretty sure my finger hovered over the send button for a record amount of time. And that was before I slammed my laptop closed and walked away, convinced there was no way I could ever actually send a query.
But then I told myself I had to rip it off. Like a band aid. (I tell myself this frequently.) So that's what I did. I re-opened the email and sent the darn thing. It was an amazing feeling! And then I wanted to do it again. And again. So I did. I sent those queries because it felt good. But then the fear sets in. That omg they could be reading my query/pages right now fear. Yeah, that feeling never passed. That's the thing about sending the first query. It didn't become any less scary even after the thirtieth. But there really is a magical feeling in realizing you're doing it. You're out there and trying and maybe it won't work out, but it's still all kinds of awesome.
If you've been there and done that, what was it like for you to send that first query?
I've just started my road on Query Letter Hell and it's maddening.
ReplyDeleteEvery time I see I have a new email message a little panic starts to work its way up my spine and into my brain. But, like you said, it does feel really great. Knowing that the agent reading your letter may be "the one" is a wonderful feeling.
Even enough to slap that panic back down where it belongs.
I totally agree, Brooks. I hope your querying journey isn't a long one!
ReplyDeleteA query letter is like a blind date. So much hope. Disappointment or bliss await.
ReplyDeleteYes! That's a great comparison. It really does feel like a blind date.
DeleteAwesome post. I've never sent my first query, but I'm nearing the time when my novel feels... not finished, but at least more ready. Meep!
ReplyDeleteI'm wishing you all the luck when you do send that first query!
DeleteI've been there, done that, but that was with my first Manuscript. I was new to the writing pool and had barely gotten my toes wet. "It was good experience," I told myself. "I wont be nervous next time," I kept repeating after I got a bunch of well deserved rejections. I wasn't ready. But four Manuscripts later, I have a story and a niche that I truly love, one I've put lots of sweat into, one I even hired an editor to make sure it's done right and now I'm seeing the end coming knowing that the next step is to Query and...well it feels worst than that first time lol. This story means more to me and I'm scared. Scared to share it, scared to have it fail and not be shared, scared that I'll go insane when the rejections start coming in... firsts are hard, but seconds after a fail I think are even harder...
ReplyDeleteFeels good getting that out...*deep breath* ahh! Wish me luck :)
First of all, if this is the book I read part of, Lucy, I'm confident you will find a good home for it. :-) BUT I do understand the fear. Hang in there and remember that you've put a lot of work into this manuscript. You believe in it. You're not sending it out after blinding writing a rough draft. Sending you lots of hugs and I cannot WAIT to celebrate with you when you get that first full request and then that first offer. It will happen.
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