Finishing, Waiting, Moving On

Last week, if you were around, I wrote this post about making choices. In it, I said I had no job (still don't) and was going to use all of last week to write. My goal was to finish the book--and it was a realistic yet challenging goal. Accomplishing it would take discipline.

After cranking out a day of 3k, a day of 4k, a day of 2k, a day of 10k and spending Friday writing the last 5k---I finished my first draft!!!!  (I also completed the manuscript I was editing on that 2k day in one sitting. Brain death.) BUT I DID IT!!!!!!

HAPPY DANCING ALL AROUND!!! 

I've written books before, but Hotboyalicious (not real title) was so hard for me. It was mostly a mental thing. This was scary because it was a lighter, actiony, sassier story and I'm more dark and twisty. I started and restarted twice. I lost a lot of great scenes. My character's motivation changed (or was fixed rather) and the pacing had to be adjusted in each re-start. It was a frustrating book and for many, many months I just HATED it because it was so annoying. But I kept writing because I wanted to tell the story.

When I wrote that last line, I called Cindy and I cried a little. I've never cried before upon finishing (even after two years and seven drafts of my last book.) But it was SO MUCH of what I hoped it would be when I started and felt like I could never achieve. BUT I DID. :) 

Now the story is finished, and I spent the weekend reading through it, fleshing out some areas that needed it, fixed some errors, made some more connections in the beginning to things that happened at the end. My fantastic CPs (three of whom are my blogmates!), an author friend, a writer friend and Patricia's sister (who NEVER reads anything) all have Hotboyalicious. I can't wait for the feedback and to jump in for revisions. 

Since I'm waiting, I'm faced with the NOW WHAT? dilemma. Well, yesterday I caught up on most of the editing stuff I have to do with Spencer Hill. I'll be working on that throughout the week. And this morning, I plotted a new book.

YES. I *do* know this is crazy. AH! 

I'm really excited about the new story--which does not yet have a working title or secret title. Remember when I said Hotboyalicious was scary because it was so different? This is even scarier. A tense I've never written in and POV that I have never worked with, (Two POVs actually!), and topics I don't know much about! Needless to say, I have a lot of character development ahead and even more research...

But this is the joy of writing. You get to try new things and you get to grow. I think it's supposed to be scary!! And just know that you are not alone.

When Your WIP Isn't Working (A Very Sad & True Tale of Ignoring the Clues)

I've been writing Hotboyalicious (not real title) for a few months now. One chilly weekend in February I only had 10k--and now on this chilly day in May I have 50k. But for months now (seriously, months) I've been stuck. (That should have been a clue.) I would write a chapter or half a chapter and be so completely stuck. The idea that was so warm and loud in my head, suddenly chilled. That's not to say this doesn't happen--because it does--but when it does you have to ask why. (This is a clue also.) But I didn't ask why. I didn't stop to figure out what was going on beneath the surface of my story. I kept writing. 

I would write until I got stuck, then complain about being stuck for days, then take action (which usually consisted of brainstorming my problem with my roommate, Derrick) and then I'd have a miraculous breakthrough and bust out 3k and then another chapter and then...I'd be stuck again. And repeat the cycle. I knew, I knew, something was wrong with the story--but I had NO IDEA what it was.  (Sidenote: I think sometimes I did know the problem, but I didn't want to admit it. This should've also been a clue.)

It wasn't until this weekend I got an objective party (not one of my CPs) to read the story. She gave me some feedback and asked some really hard questions. Questions that I should've been able to answer--and couldn't. So after spending hours redrawing my plot with markers and paper--and then a whole day of thinking--I figured out three basic questions. Three questions that I asked my CPs. Three questions that I couldn't answer. And after a couple hours of phone calls, gchats and text messages--I had the answer to those three questions. Unfortunately for me, the answers (which all deal with my MC's motivation) aren't ones that I can fix. They can only be fixed by re-writing the story.

Now, of course, I can see how her motivation is the problem. I think I knew was her all along, even if I didn't know what to call it. There was something wrong. And, in hindsight, I look at the last three months and see all the ways my WIP felt off. All the clues were there, I just ignored them. I plead with you now: do not ignore them.

(Some) Clues that your WIP may not be working: 

• When you are constantly getting stuck
• When you don't want to write it (which is different than being lazy because not wanting to write is literally dreading it)
• When the story gets quiet/cold/feels distant
• When you can't answer simple questions about your MC 
• When the MC's voice changes dramatically from the beginning to the end (which is different than character growth)
• When someone asks what the main conflict is you don't know the answer
• When you don't know the MC's motivation
• When you have no idea where your story is set and you're halfway finished
• When you dislike your MC or a love interest 
• When you feel like you have to write this chapter in order to get to the next chapter where things don't suck as bad
• When your reader doesn't understand how something is working/why something is happening
• When you don't know how your character would respond to a situation
• When you are bored
• When it feels wrong

Now that last one pretty much summarizes everything on the list. When something is wrong with your WIP you know it. You can tell yourself it's okay, that it's all in your head, that it's not as bad as you think, that if you just pour out the words you can fix them later. And sometimes, all those thoughts are valid. 

Sometimes the problem is merely pouring the story out on the page and then seeing where it's wrong. Or it really is all in your head because you're scared or too close to the story or stressed. And other times you know, for a fact, that you are going the wrong way--but maybe you don't know how to fix it. But it's important to look at your story. 

If you are in your WIP and you're stuck, and you can answer or agree with any of the things on our short list, then maybe you should step away and take a good look at what's really going on in your WIP. Don't be afraid of admitting that's something not working. As much as it sucks to write 50k and have to start over, it sucks more to write 150k and then spend two years revising. (Trust me. I did that once. Blerg.) 

We've ALL been there. So much of writing is re-writing.  That said, I am not very excited about having to start over. BUT I know that this is what the story needs. It feels right where nothing has ever felt right. So, tonight, I start over with a new motivation, and a new direction. Hopefully this time, if something isn't working, I won't ignore the clues.

The Revision Game

Today for our craft element, I'm going to talk about revision. At some point in the writing process, everyone has to revise. It's sorta like the "lather, rinse, repeat" or the "reduce, reuse, recycle" we hear a lot growing up. Except, for writers it's not always as formulaic. In theory, it should be "plot, draft, revise" because that's what we'd all like it to be---but more often than not it's different. For me, it's probably "idea, draft, draft, revise, draft, share, get critiques, freak out, think, revise, revise, delete, draft, revise..." Or something like that. 

The point is that revision is ALWAYS necessary for a draft. For everyone. (Even God revised. hello--Adam and Eve? The flood? Just saying.) The problem with revision is that is a never ending thing. Especially when you have critique groups--or school. Opinions always change drafts, or they change your opinion of your draft. 

Revisions are a big game. You can't start before the draft is ready. You have to know the way the pieces all fit together. You have to be willing to change, to grow and to lose. You can't hang on too tightly. You have to be ready and the story has to be ready. Once you're ready, you have to strap in and hang on. It's a bumpy ride.

Over a year ago last month, I started this novel. It came from one little line. One little line that turned into three lines that turned into a page and then six months later, 101K. Those first lines: 

"There's never enough time. It moves too quickly, signaling the end of everything. The end is the thing I fear the most.  Eventually, though, all things end. Days. Nights. Life. Even love. The fear of this loss is greater sometimes than the truth—that he lays here beside me, breathing, his arm resting over me.  Truth is undeniable....truth. One day they will find me and on that day, time will be quick and slow at once. Time is my enemy."

I can still feel the elation I felt when I wrote those lines down on a napkin in the Border's coffeeshop where I was working. Those words sent me on an adventure--a long, long, long, long adventure of discovery and writing that I didn't get to experience as much with my first novel. When I wrote the last lines of that first draft in January of 2011, it was the best feeling ever. It was done!

And then I got critiques. I got notes from agents. I got input from writer friends. People read it. And I learned I was far, far, far from done.

Five rewrites (or revisions) later, I'm only 15k in. The story is the same (mostly) it's just being told differently. Things are being cut out. Things are refined. My character is stronger because I know her more. I know what I can leave out, what I can keep in and what I want the story to be. Trust me though--it is not easy. Not easy at all.

There are days when I look at my word count and I think about what it used to be--and I want to cry. I mean. I've been writing and revising, deleting, revising, writing, revising, rethinking, experimenting, revising, writing...for over a year now. But I tell you, I know that in the end ALL THE REVISIONS WILL BE WORTH IT.

If you're revising, if you're about to revise, if you're thinking about revising--make sure it's ready. Make sure you're ready. Make sure you know how much work it is and how satisfying it is to see your draft change and become something incredible. If you're doing it right, if you're willing to lose and grow, it can only be better.

Where are you in the process? What is the most times you've ever revised the same story? How do you know when it's ready? What's your least/most favorite part of the revision game?

Patience v. Revising

You've slaved over your MS for months (years?) and you've finally, finally typed the very last line. It's rough. You know it's rough. You've been thinking about, but not allowing yourself to fix any holes until you actually finished the book.

You're fingers itch to start revisions right now. You don't want to wait. Why wait? You know everything there is to know about your characters and your story.

Right?

You don't need to wait for feedback from your CPs or betas. Just do it now and get it out to agents as soon as is humanly possible.

Right?

Have you been here? Does it sound familiar?

This is exactly where I am. I just recently finished the first draft of my MS. I stayed up until 3 a.m. to do it. I *had* to do it. I couldn't sleep anyway because it was all I could think about. I needed to get this story down on paper before I lost all my momentum. It felt great!

For about 3 hours. Then...I just wanted to dive right back in and revise, revise, revise. I'd emailed it to my  betas and CPs as soon as I'd closed the draft. My plan was to wait. Let them read it. Read their thoughts and THEN begin revising.

The problem with that is I really want to do it now. Like, right now. So what did I do? I asked a CP her opinion.

She said to wait. To draft a query letter. Try to get to know my characters better that way.

I did that. Then what?

Well, now I've decided to try my hand at an idea I've been putting on the back burner for about a month now. It's a bit frightening to start a brand new WIP, but at the same time, it feels good. Really good. And it's totally keeping me distracted, which is what I need right now.

Patience is not exactly one of my strongest attributes, but for this, for my dream...I will be patient.