My Dream Year

There are very few things in life I want badly. 

One of them, top of the list, is definitely to write. 

Luckily, I’ve been doing that regularly since a trip to South Africa. It’s a journey but it’s a good one so far. I want to be published, to learn the craft, to teach it. I want to share the stories in my head with people. 

It’s a big dream but for the first time in my life I feel like I’m moving toward something. 

- written June 17, 2010 

This post is supposed to be about 2012, about things that we're looking forward to in 2013, and all I can think is "look at where I came from," and "OMG, I get to do this now."

Life sure works in mysterious ways. In 2010, I would never have imagined that my fun hobby would turn into a passion. That passion would turn in discovery. That discovery would turn into skill. That skill would turn into work. That work would turn into a book deal. But it did.

In 2010, I never imagined it would end up this way (book deal, editor, nanny, author) but here I am and I think that's what 2012 did for me. There were a lot of struggles, but there were even more surprises. Things that happened that I didn't even know I wanted, but now that I have them, it's hard to imagine life without them.

2013 is going to be different. 

I dreamt once, when I was living in Nashville and trying to figure out what being a writer meant, that 2013 would be my year. I never had a clear vision on that specifically, the dream didn't give me details, but I remember telling my mom that some amazing things were waiting and that 2013 was the year my life would change. My mom--who's not really one to look forward like that, but is always one to encourage me to look forward--said to me, "Then, I guess you better get ready because everything is going to be building you up for that moment."

And I definitely feel like it has. I've spent so many of my years, especially in college and after, feeling like Alice in Wonderland--lost in the dark and not really sure where I'm headed. Even after I found writing, I had no idea how it would turn out. But standing here on the cusp of the year I've (literally) dreamed about, I can say that I feel ready--and that I'm beyond excited to see what happens.

For the first time at the start of a new year, I am in a good place. I live in a city that I really love. Have a good job. Have fun and exciting things on the horizon. Have wonderful people and authors and projects coming out. Have a book that I wrote that all of you will get to read. (And sure, it's not until 2014, but it's still a very affirming thing.)

I have high expectations for 2013. 

I know that could be a dangerous thing, but I firmly believe that it will live up to those expectations. I want to live this year. I want to hope and keep dreaming and challenge myself and be challenged and try things that seem like stupid risks or feel out character that stick with me forever. That's my goal for 2013. I want to experience the year instead of dreaming about the next one. (I promise you being content is really hard for me.) I want to live every moment and never take it for granted.

In 2010, I was just starting this journey as a writer. In 2013, I'm starting a new journey as an author. I'm excited to see what lies ahead.

Hopefully, 2012 was my last year as Alice, and 2013 will be exactly what I dream it to be. I don't have a list of goals, but I'm looking forward to the new things--and all the people I get to share them with.