Friday, February 7, 2014

Free topic : Writing Mistakes



Oh goodness. Today was my day to post and I completely forgot. Can I blame that on pregnancy brain? Yes? Well, I am. Apologies for the late post. Also, because I'm an unprepared slacker, this post may end up on the shorter side. Again, I'm sorry.

This month is a free topic over here for us Tangled Girls, so I decided to write a post about the top writing mistakes I see when editing.

1. Telling instead of Showing.

         Here's an easy example of telling:
            
              The thunder scared Sandy.
       
        With a little tweaking, you can add depth to it by showing. Ex.

               A loud boom reverberated through the sky, shooting ice down Sandy's back and freezing her in place.

 
  2. Comma splicing. This is when two independent clauses are connected with a comma. Ex.

               I dropped my phone, the screen cracked.

      This should be:

               I dropped my phone. The screen cracked.

       Or you can add a bit to make it:

               When I dropped my phone, the screen cracked.
                I dropped my phone, causing the screen to crack.

   3. Nauseous/Nauseated. Most of the time, I see this:

                Rotten eggs permeated the room, making me nauseous.

         It should be:

                Rotten eggs permeated the room, making me nauseated.

        "Nauseous" actually means to cause the feeling of sickness, whereas "nauseated" means to feel sick.

      4.   British English vs. American English. A lot of times, I see British English and American English mingled together in one manuscript. Here are some of the more common words I see mixed together.

     British spelling: Towards/Backwards           American:  Toward/Backward
                                 Grey                                                      Gray
                                 Colour                                                   Color
                                 Realise                                                   Realize
                                
             Since I work for an American press, I always change anything to the American spelling, however, regardless of which you choose, try to stay uniform throughout your m/s.

     5. Dialogue tags. Now, this may simply be my personal preference, but typically, you'll want to keep your dialogue tags simple. Such as:
                                          "What kind of desserts do you like?" Dan asked.
                                          "I love macaroons," Christina said.
                                          "Anything chocolate," Hannah replied.

          I say keep the tags simple because the more complicated your tags are, the more they tend to pull the reader out of the story, focusing on the tag rather than the dialogue. (Also, side note - try to keep your dialogue tags sparse, and when possible, use an action tag instead since they help to show more.)
    

       There you have it. Those are my top five writing mistakes. I, myself, am so guilty of them, and it's the reason only my trusted CPs get to see my first drafts! :)  How about you all? What are the top writing mistakes you see? What do you do to correct them?

       And, since I couldn't find a gif to match my topic, here's one of Brett angry dancing. Enjoy!





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Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Interview with the ever-awesome Erica Cameron!


Hello Lovely Readers!


I’m excited to bring you a quirky, but awesome (always awesome) interview with my good friend and basically my sister, Erica Cameron (me, with glasses; her, without):



She has a book-baby in ARC form right now that’s slated to come to press exactly one month from this date (that would be March 4th!) called Sing Sweet Nightingale, book one in The Dream War Saga series brought to you by the wonderful Spencer Hill Press. See the picture below for the gorgeous cover or click here for the cover AND a synopsis of the book.



I’ve the immense privilege to see the many stages of this particular book as well as its growth into a truly amazing book. Take my word for it when I say that you will be addicted to this series!

Asja: First off, congratulations! I know it’s been somewhat of a roller coaster ride, from the beginning of Sing up to now. Can you talk about what this past year has been like for you? And please, do include the juicy details.

Erica: Just the past year? Sure! I started the year out by attending the Society for Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators (aka, SCBWI) Miami conference in January. This particular conference is amazingly well run and I highly recommend it to anyone who can get down to Florida in January. It was here that I met Michael Stearns of Upstart Crow Literary. I paid for a critique and he read pages of a fantasy novel I had started working on. It was called THE TRIAL then. It’s now titled DESERTED and I’m hoping someone buys it because I love this world. Sword fights and magic and desert islands and sarcastic boys and just omg. Anyway, Michael loved the pages and he introduced me to Danielle Chiotti, another agent at Upstart. She signed me less than a month later. A couple of days after our partnership was official, I received my first official edit letter for SING SWEET NIGHTINGALE from my editors Danielle Ellison and Patricia Riley. I emphasize official because I had already been revising the book for a few months based just on conversations I’d had with my editresses. Still, this letter was epically long. As in, I currently hold the record within Spencer Hill for longest edit letter. It’s a dubious honor. With agent-Danielle’s help, I only minorly freaked the eff out and managed to essentially rewrite the book in six weeks. Then there was another round of edits. And another. And another.

In between all of that, my editresses were lovely enough to invite me to attend the photo shoot for the cover of my book! The concept for the cover changed quite a few times, but we’d finally landed on something the Spencer Hill team, me, and photographer/designer Jeremy West were all pleased with. Being there to meet the models and watch Jeremy and his team (aka his twin brother Jeffrey and his girlfriend Lauren) work was so fun! Even being there, seeing the final cover was still a shock. His work is gorgeous! I am so pleased with how it all came together. I got to share his work with the world at Book Expo America 2013 (with my Asja there to be my entourage this time!). Spencer Hill set up a cool cover reveal, I did an interview with Jeremy in Central Park where we talked about the cover (click here, click here!) and the series, and I was able to read half of the first  chapter of the book without passing out, which I felt was a huge accomplishment given how nervous I was about the whole thing.

After that, guess what? More editing. In between all of the editing on SING, though, I was also writing book 2 (title will be revealed after SING releases!), writing the second book in a contemporary series I co-authored with Lani, working on DESERTED, and bombarding my agent-lady with more project ideas and drafts than she could possibly handle from one client. I turned in the first draft of book 2 in The Dream War Saga in June right after BEA. Edits for SING finished with a quick turnaround on copyedits in November and then, with my brain firmly melting out my ears, I gave up for the rest of the year and slipped into some kind of mental hibernation…. Until mid-December when I got the first edit letter for book 2 and the process started all over again.

A: Can you tell the story of how you got to where you are right now? You know, the one where you pitch this epic story at a party and then magic happens?

E: I swear this story will never get old.  

A: It really, really doesn’t!

E: So I was in Manhattan for Book Expo America even though I had NO REASON to be there. I wasn’t an author (just a wannabe) or an agent or an editor or even a blogger. I blogged, but not book reviews. And my number of followers could be counted on my hands and feet. I was there to serve as support and entourage for my friend Lani Woodland. One night after BEA, Lani had this party to go to in Tribeca. Since she hasn’t spent much time in the city and didn’t know the subways at all, she asked me to come with her to make sure she got there all right. The problem was that I hadn’t been invited to this party and there was a strict guest list because of fire code (the party was being held in this rooftop solarium in a building right on the Hudson River… which I should have seen as a sign considering my male MC’s name is Hudson). I didn’t want Lani getting lost, so I decide to escort her down there. Then when I got there I had to use the bathroom, so I talked my way past the guard on the door and then I kind of just… didn’t leave. What can I say? The sun was setting and the view from that rooftop was gorgeous. The first sign that something magical was in the air that night was when Lani and I started talking to this girl from London, Lizzy, the fiancé of a YA author whose first book was about to launch. Through a strange conversation Lani and I discover that Lizzy is best friends with a girl I went to middle school with. In Fort Lauderdale. Small world, right?

A bit later, while I’m trying very hard to stay to the edges of the party so no one realizes I’m not supposed to be there and asks me to leave, Lani starts up a conversation with Danielle Ellison on the other side of the roof. She talks about her books and then, because she is the awesomest best friend ever, she starts talking about mine. Danielle is intrigued, so Lani pulls me over to meet her and Danielle says, “So tell me about your book.” And, of course, my mind goes completely blank. So blank, I swear I almost asked, “What book?” I must have managed to say something interesting and semi-coherent because Danielle gives me her card and asks me to send her the manuscript when I have a chance and then drags me across the roof and introduces me to Patricia Riley, her co-editor, she says.

“Tell Patricia about your book,” Danielle says. So I do. And then I get this moment:

Patricia: “Oh my God!”
Danielle: “I know, right?!”

And that’s when I fell in love with both of them. I was completely giddy for the rest of the evening and, of course, emailed them the manuscript as soon as I had a stable internet connection. Less than a month later, I had an offer. Very soon after that, I had a contract. All because I crashed a party.

Even weirder? Though I didn’t know it at the time, also present at the party that night were my future cover designer/photographer, my future cover model, and my future editorial assistant. I swear there was something in the air that night.

A: So, what are you going to do on March 4th?

E: What would I like to be doing? Somehow connecting with readers who have just discovered my book! What will I actually be doing? Working. Probably editing the sequel to SING and then heading in to the day job. *sigh* Oh the glamorous life of an author! However, I will be attending the NoVaTEEN Book Festival in Arlington, Virginia on March 8! I am very excited to be taking part in that whole event and I think it’s a phenomenal way to cap the official week of SING’s release. :D

A: What was the first book-like story you wrote? What happened to it and could it make a reappearance as you come into your own as a full-fledged author?

E: Well, first first is the mystery novella I wrote for a school assignment in eighth grade. And, no. That will NEVER appear in public. Then I attempted a fantasy novel in high school that was really well-disguised fanfiction of Tamora Pierce’s work, but I never finished it because I really had no idea what I was doing. I wrote short stories in my college writing classes, but didn’t attempt another book-length original work until I had almost graduated. In 2007, I wrote a story about these beings of energy who were where the mythology of angels came from. They were secretly the guardians of humanity, but they followed a very strict set of rules concerning what they were and weren’t allowed to do. My angel Xander broke all of those rules with the human girl, Sam, he was guarding. I queried it and got a fair amount of positive feedback from agents (one almost signed me), but in the end it went nowhere. Which is a good thing. There were a lot of corners I’d written myself into within that universe and I realized halfway through writing book 2 that I didn’t know how to get out of them and the whole thing needed to be scrapped and restarted. This world will probably never come back in the form I originally imagined it, however I have realized that I pulled some of the concepts I’d pictured for this universe and incorporated them into The Dream War Saga. So, in a way, we’re getting a version of the story now. A better one.

A:This is your first full book (cue the happy dances and boy band fan teenager-like screaming). How’s that feel?

E:There are really no words, so:



Yep. That about sums it up.

A: Can you talk about the color blue? I’ve read some of your rough work and we’ve spoken about your tendency to have blue pens, blue notebooks, blue hair (yes, I’m talking about Aisling, who makes her first appearance in the already published short story “Whatever It Takes” from the anthology Doorways to Extra Time and then comes back for us in the Dream War Saga). What is this default and how do you accommodate for it come editing time?

E: Of course. You would bring up the blue, wouldn’t you? ;)

A: I really couldn't resist.

E: Blue is my favorite color. Cobalt and cerulean and that bright, brilliant turquoise-ocean-blue color top the favorite shades list, but really any blue will do. I find it soothing and beautiful. What I didn’t realize until my editors pointed it out is that it’s also my default color for ANYTHING. Cars, pens, shirts, whatever. It all ended up blue. Now I’m more careful about when I use the color, but the early draft of SING was incredibly blue. Which is a bad thing because there is actual significance to the color blue within the book and all those extra blue things totally diluted that. So they had to go.

Aisling’s hair, however, stayed. :D

A: What’s next?

E: Well, I have a contemporary series and a fantasy series out on submission right now, so hopefully one (or both) of those sell and THAT will be what’s next. As for works in progress, that’s up in the air right now. I pitched a few different contemporary ideas, a post-apocolyptic idea, a thriller idea, and a co-written quasi-historical quasi-fantasy idea at my agent. I’m waiting to see which one she goes for before I start writing.

A: What are you reading right now?

E: I just finished Phoenix Island by John Dixon and now I’m working on The Violet Hour by Whitney A. Miller. Both of these are intense, creepy, and beautifully written 2014 debut novels by other members of the OneFour Kid Lit group. It’s a fantastic collection of young adult and middle grade authors and everyone should check out the site to find some amazing new talent!

A: Tell us a bit about the editing process. What kills you? What makes you a happy writer?

E: I actually enjoy the editing process a lot. The initial shock of seeing a huge letter that explicitly explains all the things you did wrong may still suck, but I really trust my editorial team and my agent. If they say something isn’t working, it isn’t working. I start fixing it. As opposed to drafting, when I’m editing, I already know the characters and the world and where the story is going, so shifting things around and bringing out some traits and subplots or maybe suppressing others is a lot easier. It’s fine-tuning, adjusting, instead of trying to come up with everything from scratch. The thing I hate most is getting rid of characters. Not necessarily killing them (sometimes, that needs to happen), but cutting them out of the book. Completely erasing their existence. I love my characters, so deleting them entirely is even harder for me than killing them. What makes me happy is getting through the revisions and seeing the book take a shape I didn’t even realize was buried underneath, like my editors gave me a map and I found a new place none of us had ever seen before. It’s a beautiful thing.

A: What are the perfect writing conditions for you?

E: Writing or editing, I like to be somewhere with just a little bit of distraction. I tend to work well in places like Panera or Starbucks, somewhere I can pick a chair, plug in my Surface, and not worry about anything but getting as many words in Word as possible in one day.

A: Do you keep a journal or is there another way that you continue to practice your art?

E: I am so bad at journaling. Really. I’ve tried several times to make myself do that, but it just… doesn’t happen! I’ll start off okay but then it trails off. For me, drafting a new book is practice and the editing process is honing the craft. Reading is research and looking for inspiration and real life is fodder for the rest of it.

A: Who’s on your wishlist for back-of-book-blurbs?

E: For SING or my fantasy series, Tamora Pierce, definitely. She’s one of the first authors I fell in love with and I’ve read almost everything she’s ever written. Stephenie Meyer, too, because her books got me back into writing during college and she’s just an amazing person. I’d also love to have Dan Wells, Brandon Sanderson, Cinda Williams Chima, Suzanne Collins, and Cassandra Clare. For my contemporary, Elizabeth Eulberg, Simone Elkeles, Ally Carter, Jay Asher, and Libba Bray are all incredible.

A: How/Where did Erica-the-writer begin?

E: So early I can’t even remember. Although that mystery novel in eighth grade, I’ve been a reader since before I realized there was any other way to be. Books have always been my favorite pastime and writing my own stories was a natural evolution of that for me.

A: What do you do for the always dreaded writer’s block?

E: My brain tends to work on a feast or famine system. I will go through stages where all I want to do is write. Or read. Or watch TV on Netflix while I’m making jewelry. And then, suddenly, I’ll be tired of that one thing and I’ll want to switch to something else. Although there was a period of a few years in between my first novel and SING (which is my third completed original book) where I didn’t write much, I’ve never been so blocked that when I sat down with the intention of working on something, nothing came out. It may be slow going some days, but the words are still there. And every time I have an idea for a book, even if I’m not sure if it’ll go anywhere, I write it down. Whatever comes in to my head with the idea—whether it’s a scene or a basic plot or a character or whatever—I write that down and stick it in it’s own folder in a file I have that’s called The Back Burner. There are twenty folders in there right now with ideas in various stages. And then I have my Novels folder which has the more fleshed out projects. There are eleven folders in there, including The Dream War Saga folder. And then I have the folder for my co-written projects. And there’s two series and one standalone in that folder. In other words, if I get stuck, I go through all of these folders until I find something that calls to me and I start working.

A: Do you have a writing routine? What is it and could you walk us through a typical writerly day in Erica Cameron’s life?

E: Right now I am working at a live-in rehab center for teens, I teach English there, but because of the way their system is set up, I only work two and a half hours a day. Plus extra time for tutoring if the kids sign up for it. So in the mornings, I’ll wake up and go to Panera, work on whatever my current project is (most recently it has been the edits on book 2), then I’ll come home to have lunch and go to work. Now that SING is so close to releasing, that time in the morning may be spent updating my website or posting on Twitter about the contest I’m running right now (contest, yay!) or answering interview questions (like this insanely long one).

A: What are some of your favorite books/authors?

E: I’ve heard it said that asking a reader to pick a favorite book is like asking a parent to pick a favorite child. It depends on the day you ask. In general, though, I adore Tamora Pierce, Stephenie Meyer, Jacquelyn Carey, Jim Hines, Dan Wells, A.R. Kahler, Garth Nix, Brandon Sanderson, Jasper Fforde, Jay Asher, Laurie Halse Anderson, and… yeah. I could keep going and going, so I’ll stop there.

A: Any last words of wisdom or advice that you’d like to leave our readers with?

E: Life advice? I’m not really sure I’m the one to offer that, but…. Do what makes you happy. Life is too short to be miserable. Sometimes you may have to make sacrifices you’re not thrilled with to get where you want to go, but don’t let that cost outweigh the benefits of finally reaching your goal.

As far as writing advice goes, ask questions of authors when you get the chance to meet them, listen to what they have to say, and if something resonates with you, try it their way. However, there is no correct way to write and no one path to publication. The correct way is whatever way works for you and gets the story you want to tell on paper. The path that will get you published is the one you pave yourself. No one else’s will work for you.

A: And finally, give us the speal. Tell us the important details, how we can follow you and the beginning to your wonderful series. Everything but your social security number.

E: I am all over the interwebs! (seriously… you may regret asking this question…) I have two websites, one for me and all of the books I will one day write, one for only Dream War Saga related things. You can also find me on Twitter, Facebook (again, for myself and for The Dream War Saga), Tumblr (on here I have three: Mine, Dream War's official page, and The Mystical Demystified  which will become my go-to place for fan questions on the Dream War Saga), and also Pinterest



Annnnd there you have it! Leave a comment, follow Erica, buy her book when it comes out, buy her book when it comes out. BUY IT...

Thanks for reading friends, hope you enjoyed :D

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Wednesday, January 29, 2014

2014 Challenge


***Before I get started on my post, I just want to take a quick moment to make sure you've checked out Kimberly's post, which has a fantastic list of writer conferences in 2014, as well as an ARC giveaway of the highly anticipated Grasshopper Jungle by Andrew Smith!***


For the past two years, I've participated in the Goodreads Reading Challenge. I haven't hit my goal yet. But this year, on top of my Goodreads goal, I'm also participating in a 2014 Challenge with my younger brother, who shall hereby be referred to as Sunshine. For anyone who has a brother--or a sister, for that matter--you know how big a deal this is.

So here are the rules, in no particular order:

  1. Books must be added to and tracked on Goodreads to count, with a special 2014 Challenge shelf.
  2. Books must be published (so my critiquing doesn't count, nor do my read-throughs of my own drafts). 
  3. Only novels count toward the total read (no non-fiction, comics, graphic novels, etc.). 
  4. Every two audiobooks listened to equals one book read.
  5. Only one book started before January 1, 2014 counts toward the total for 2014 (for me, this was Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell, started December 30th). 
  6. Revamped books will only count if added to the 2014 Challenge shelf. 
Simple enough, right? So far I think Sunshine is winning. But there are some books from 2013 or books being released in 2014 that I'm pretty excited about. I'm fairly confident my anticipation will help me pull this off. 

Books I still want to read from 2013: 
  • Champion by Marie Lu. 
  • The Dream Thieves by Maggie Stiefvater.
  • Allegiant by Veronica Roth. 
  • Deception by CJ Redwine. 
  • Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell.

2014: 
  • City of Heavenly Fire by Cassandra Clare. Enough said. 
  • Veronica Mars by Rob Thomas. In case you didn't already know about this, you're welcome.
  • Breakable by Tammara Webber. If you haven't met Lucas yet (Easy), YOU MUST! 
  • The Murder Complex by Lindsay Cummings. 
  • Grasshopper Jungle by Andrew Smith. 
I'm sure I'm forgetting a few books and I'm sure many others will be picked up too. In any case, Sunshine is going down.

Are you participating in any reading challenges this year? What books are you most excited about in 2014? 



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Friday, January 24, 2014

Books I can't wait to read in 2014

One of the problems of being a reader is that for ever book I read, I add ten more to the to-be-read list. It never ends! But I'm here to talk about some of the books I'm most looking forward to reading in 2014 - some of which I've been waiting a long time for!


Unhinged (Splintered, #2)
Unhinged by A.G. Howard


Just look at that stunning cover! I was lucky enough to win a copy of this book in a giveaway, and am now impatiently waiting for it to arrive so I can dive back into A.G. Howard's sinister and warped version of Wonderland.





Cress by Marissa Meyer
Cress (Lunar Chronicles, #3)
Another gorgeous cover here! I loved Cinder and Scarlet, and I'm intrigued to see how Meyer ties the Rapunzel fairy tale into the overarching story line. This series is without a doubt one of the most original fairy tale re-imaginings I've ever read!


Into the Still Blue (Under the Never Sky, #3)

Into the Still Blue by Veronica Rossi

Another sequel here - I'm highly anticipating the conclusion to the Under the Never Sky trilogy!





Dreams of Gods & Monsters (Daughter of Smoke & Bone, #3)


Dreams of Gods and Monsters by Laini Taylor

I suffer from an extreme case of writer's envy with Laini Taylor's work and am in awe of how beautiful her writing is. I have no doubt that the finale of the Daughter of Smoke and Bone trilogy will be as fantastic as the previous two books!




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Friday, January 10, 2014

The Inarticulate List of the Best Books I Read in 2013

In honor of a new year, here are the best books I found in 2013. These are mostly inarticulate reviews where I gush over how much I adore each of them and refrain from asking each author if we can please, maybe, you know, hang out or something.

How did I make my selections? I read so darn much that it's not easy...except that it is. My best-of-2013 books are the ones I remember best. They're the ones that stayed with me long after I read. The ones I pressed into other readers' hands.

Here they are:

1. Code Name Verity


This book killed me, in all the best ways possible. The writing was gorgeous, the story was incredible. I'm itching to go back through and figure out what all the capital letters mean. Seriously. My favorite find of 2013, and one of the best books I've read in a long, long time.


2. The Raven Boys

I'll be honest-- I didn't love SHIVER enough to read the whole series. I wanted so badly to like SCORPIO RACES, but somehow I put the book down and never picked it back up (maybe it was just a bad time for me?), but this book blew me away. It was one of those up till 3AM reads. I just started on DREAM THIEVES this week, and the series...just wow. The world building is amazing. My favorite character is the vintage Camaro. *swoon*

3. No Good Duke Goes Unpunished


Yeah, I know it's not YA. I don't just read YA. Romance is what made me want to write, so I read a lot of it. I have dreams of being able to write a historical (I've tried, I can't--just not my voice), but this book. I LOVE this book. Love the whole series, but this one especially. Tortured Duke and a scene in a boxing ring... um...yes, please.

4. Beautiful Ruins


This book. I mean, it makes me want to write straight literary. It's just beautifully, beautifully done, and set in Italy. Which, let's face it, is my weakness. Again, not YA...so sue me.

5. Dirty Little Secret



You guys, this book blew me away. I don't like country music, and I was hooked right from the very beginning. Hooked, I tell you. This book is wonderful, full stop. Go. Buy. Read.


6. The Blood Keeper


Last, but definitely not least, is Tessa Gratton's follow up to BLOOD MAGIC. This bad boy has been sitting on my shelf for WAY too long. I got it when it first came out and then set it aside, because I knew once I started, I was going to have to finish it. Gratton is a master, an absolute master of language. Her writing is just gorgeous--lush and tumbling over itself in a graceful way that makes me insanely jealous. One day we will meet and I will stand there for a moment, dumbstruck before I do the stupid fangirl thing and make an ass of myself. And that will ruin any chance of us ever being bffs. But I won't care. Seriously. She's that good.



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Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Salt by Danielle Ellison Giveaway!

 
****And the randomly selected winner is: Amy Mays. Please check your email as your book should have arrive! I hope you enjoy it.
Not a winner this time? You can buy the book here:
 
One of our very own Tangled Girls has a book birthday today!!!
 
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Danielle's book, Salt, is out today through Entangled Teen, and to celebrate, I'm giving away a copy (kindle version)!
 
Here's the beautiful cover:
 
 
Isn't it gorgeous and sparkly?!
 
And here's the description:
 
"Penelope is a witch, part of a secret society protecting humans from demon attacks. But when she was a child, a demon killed her parents—and stole her magic. Since then, she’s been pretending to be something she’s not, using her sister’s magic to hide her own loss, to prevent being sent away.

When she’s finally given the chance to join the elite demon-hunting force, Penelope thinks that will finally change. With her sister’s help, she can squeeze through the tests and get access to the information she needs to find "her" demon. To take back what was stolen.

Then she meets Carter. He’s cute, smart, and she can borrow his magic, too. He knows her secret—but he also has one of his own.

Suddenly, Penelope’s impossible quest becomes far more complicated. Because Carter’s not telling her everything, and it’s starting to seem like the demons have their own agenda…and they’re far too interested in her."
 
 
So here are the details. Enter by leaving a comment with your name and your email (use the one connected to your kindle account, please). You don't have to follow the blog (though feel free to!) and please share on Twitter or Facebook. I will randomly pick a winner TONIGHT and will update the blog with the winner's name tomorrow. Good luck and Congratulations to Danielle!
 
And now (because I'm incapable of posting without a gif) here's a random gif of a happy dance to help celebrate! CONGRATS Danielle!
 
 
 
 
 
 
         
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Saturday, January 4, 2014

The 13 I've Learned from 2013


Happy New Year Everyone! This month we thought that we’d do our own countdown of things 2013-past. I decided that I would list the 13 things that I learned from 2013 (and hope to carry into 2014). Maybe some of them will resonate with you! So here it goes:






1. Say “yes”

This seems obvious, but there are so many times in 2013 that I wanted to say “yes” but I didn’t, because of obligations, people’s reactions, the guilt (oh the guilt!). There’s always a reason not to say “yes” to something that you really want. It takes courage to look a situation in the eye, recognize that you actually do want it, and say “yes” to it.

Back in the beginning of 2013, my like family friend (and fellow writer!) Erica Cameron was trying to convince me to go to BEA towards the end of May. She told me that she thought she could swing getting me a ticket with her publisher. This was a HUGE deal that I didn’t realize until much later. I lamented missing work and the money that came with the missing of work. I tried to justify taking off three days. I almost said “no” and actually did a few times until almost the very last minute. 

But I didn’t and so many great things have happened out of that one “yes”. Erica’s publisher was Spencer Hill Press and BEA gave me the opportunity to meet like-minded people doing the kind of things that I didn’t think I could break into. From that one “yes” I got to see Erica’s debut novel cover reveal; I befriended a whole slew of new and wonderful people (which ended up landing me a place with Spencer Hill’s Contemporary imprint AND a place here with the Tangled lovelies); I got to listen to and receive 2 signed books from my favorite author, Neil Gaiman; I picked up an outrageous amount of free swag (books, bags, glitter tattoos..) All of this I would’ve missed had I said “no”.  My life was changed by going to BEA. Thank the gods I said “yes”!

2. Say “no” 

I know, this seems contrary to what I wrote above, but we cannot follow Jim Carrey into the world of Yes Man, blindly saying “yes” to anything and everything. 

There are moments when we just have to say “no”. And as a perpetual people-pleaser I found saying “no” almost as hard as saying “yes”.  See my July post about saying “no” by clicking here

Saying “no” for me became a survival thing in 2013. I just kept taking on way more than I could handle including: insisting that I would gain my MFA in two years, burning through semesters like wildfire; working several part-time jobs at once making my week work upwards of 50 hours while at school and then adding more work when I had breaks. I was doing too much. Saying “no” saved my sanity. And there’s a pleasure to saying “no” when you really mean it.

3. Practice positivity

Behaviors are learned and then practiced. It’s very easy to dwell on all the daily horrible that happens, but focusing on the positive, insisting that the glass is actually completely full (equal parts air and water) takes practice.

The end of 2012 and beginning of 2013 was very difficult for me. I’d made some poor choices in friends and they were affecting my general outlook on life. I was practicing negativity by gossiping, complaining about what was happening around me, and generally just adding to the bad feel all around me. It took many things to get me to see that positivity isn’t just for the mythical “happy people”. It could be for me and it could be for you too. You just have to practice it and know that it’s a journey. It will take time. I’m still working on it into 2014.

4. Say what you mean

It’s so fun to get caught up in being ambiguous when you're a poet (or really anyone for that matter), but you’ll soon find that the more you mask what you’re really saying in pretty words or veiled actions, the less likely you are to get what you really want in life.

I’m a classic case of keeping my mouth shut until I explode. Not a good thing to practice! I’m not advocating saying mean things (because our brains do go to those places sometimes) but I am saying that we need to be more clear  in our intentions.

5. Pressure is a privilege 

This is a favorite of mine. I wrote about it during NaNo here and still think that it’s a wonderful thing. Underneath all of my stress (mostly self-induced) there’s a love for the deadline. It signifies an end to something. And if it’s stressful, it’s nice to see the light at the end of the road!

6. Perfection is ugly, what we really like are the imperfections

This might seem clichéd, but that doesn’t make it any less true. There is a preoccupation with perfection, especially in this age of photoshop. But when you look at the world that we live in, it’s the imperfections, the inconsistencies that are beautiful.

7. Creating bad art is better than creating no art

This one’s also a little weird at first, but it’ll make sense, I promise. When I graduated from my MFA program, I didn’t write anything. I had this thesis with poems that I really cared about, but I didn’t write anything else. I didn’t know where to begin. I went to BEA and met these amazing writers and still I didn’t write. I was scared of making bad art, scared of writing something that meant nothing. But this kept me from practicing my craft.

Creating is important. It doesn’t matter whether it’s “good” or not. “Good” is subjective anyway. If you let the fear of “good” and “bad” eat at you, you will cease to create. So make art. Write a horrible poem about candles and napkins. Doodle in your calendar. Sing in the shower. Create!

8. Boundaries are important

This is another continuous thing that I’m learning. Setting and maintaining certain boundaries are necessary. We all have people in our life (for whatever reason) that are takers: of energy, of positivity, of creativity. Boundaries help so that we aren’t jerks by saying “I’m cutting you out of my life completely”.

Living in New York City, it’s easy to just cut people out for the smallest of reasons. It’s a small yet large city that has brilliant hiding places. While I have had to cut some people completely out of my life there are others who that’s impossible to do that too. So I created boundaries. This could be useful for family members, your boss, co-workers—anyone that you will remain in contact with but maybe need some boundaries with.  Don’t be afraid to draw the line—just don’t go crazy with it.

9. Second chances are great—fifth, sixth, and seventh chances are not

I try my best not to hold grudges. I give people millions of chances when they do things that really hurt me and 2013 showed me that I don’t always have to do this. I don’t have to remain friends with every ex-whatever in my life.

Sometimes I can be a doormat and give out chances like free candy, but I came to the realization that this isn’t necessary. What’s the point in keeping someone around who generally makes you feel like crap? If you have to deal with them, create boundaries (see above), but otherwise move on! This is difficult and much easier said than done. But someone who requires fifth, sixth, and seventh chances isn’t looking out for your best interests. They are feeding off you and you don’t deserve that. I know I don’t.

10. Actual conversations are way better than text messages
 
I know. Text messaging is easier when you’re in a rush. I’m a busy person, I get this. But an actual conversation—you know, that verbal thing that enables us to relate to one another—are super important.

I can’t tell you how many romantic relationships I had that never were because the guy just wouldn’t pick up the phone. This goes all the way back to when I was 18. Text messages cannot convey tone. I know this. I’m a very sarcastic person and you won’t realize that unless you talk to me—over the phone, through Skype or in person.

This is important for friendships too!

11. Making time for you is vital

This seems obvious, but for me it’s difficult. It’s much easier for me to focus on another person, to listen to their problems than it is to deal with my own issues. It’s also easier for me to keep busy. But the value of making sure that each day I do something that’s purely for me, is immeasurable.

Here are some examples of my own just me things: grabbing my favorite hot chocolate, taking a ballet class, going to the gym, picking up a bottle of wine to enjoy at home in front of a movie, cooking dinner.

12. If it feels wrong, it probably is

Some call it a gut feeling, others label it intuition—whatever it is for you, LISTEN TO IT! There’s a difference between being uncomfortable in a situation and feeling like it’s completely wrong. You’ll know it when you feel it. If it feels wrong, get out of there.

13. Don’t settle

This is a big one for me. It’s really easy to settle. For me it would simply be going back to my family in Florida, getting an apartment, leasing a car, having a random job. It would be so easy. I’d have my parents to fallback on and an environment that I’ve grown up in. But my dreams would vanish. By pushing on and challenging myself to leave my comfort zone, I’ve made some amazing relationships, done some really fulfilling things, created some truly expressive art and I know there’s still more to come.

If you want more, don’t settle. You’ll regret it every day.




Here’s one additional thing that I’m doing to honor 2014: I’ve saved a jar from 2013 and every time that I do something that makes me happy, an accomplishment that I’m proud of, I write it down on a scrap of paper, date it, and put it into the jar. The idea is to have a reflection of the positive of 2014 come January 1st 2015.


And that’s my 13. I was really happy to say goodbye to 2013, but I learned a lot and hope to take these lessons into 2014 with me.


Anything on this list resonate with you? Want to share what you gained from your 2013? Please comment! I’d love to hear your stories.



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