|It looked A LOT like this.|
Hats are a funny thing, because when I am wearing one I always tell myself that I don't want anymore--and then an opportunity comes up and I have to take it. So I add another hat to my head. (Anyone else have this problem?)
I think all this hat-wearing-overload stems from my desire to live a life of passion. If you've never heard the story of my how I realized the importance of living a life of passion, then it's here.
I experience this a lot: this uncertainty about what my priorities are or why I am working so hard for this one thing.
From my roommate, from strangers, from my family, and sometimes from my friends who get tired of hearing me cry or stress about just. how. hard. this is. Especially when I live in one of more expensive areas of the country on no money. (Thanks, Metro DC area.) But despite that, I can't seem to stop putting on hats or wearing hats or being so completely excited (when I'm not stressed) about all the hats that I wear. And I wear a lot of them.
I'm an author.
An event planner.
A friend, sister, daughter, reader, encourager, cousin, TV fan, music-listener (those are hats, too!)
At the end of the day, it doesn't matter WHAT hats I wear. It matters that the hats I wear bring me joy, and give my life purpose.
That's all we can really ask for.
Right now, even though I tend to be so stressed out or overwhelmed that I don't know how to function as a human being, I never regret the hats that I wear. The various roles I get to balance are so rewarding, and the results from them matter. The results matter. To my authors, to my friends, to the customers at the store, to my future readers, to my author's future readers, to teens, to my friends, to myself.
Maybe one day I will remove some hats. Maybe all those things I identify with won't be there anymore, or maybe they will. I know the day I wake up and don't want to do something I'm doing is the day I'll remove that hat and move on. When I'm not joyful about that thing or I feel like it doesn't matter anymore.
Until then I will soldier on, probably gaining more hats without even looking for them. And one day, maybe, I will find a real hat that looks good on me.
I hope it's sparkly.